Generally, people think of negotiation as
a formal process. However, many of our daily conversations could also be
considered a form of informal negotiations. Generally, parties will not
consider task-oriented conversation negotiation, when, in fact, it often is.
Regardless of whether your negotiation is
formal or informal, people have a tendency to make the same mistakes. These
mistakes derive from inherent human traits and are generally irrational. They
are irrational in that they are not in everyone’s best interests, not that they
are emotionally driven. An actor can be emotionally driven and still act in his
best interest.
Here are the top five negotiation
mistakes that I have encountered over the years that I have been training and
consulting in this area.
“Me
vs. You” Negotiation
Humans inherently believe that specific
wants in negotiations are scarce. They assume that they must fight over the
assets, which turns the negotiation into a competition. This competitive negotiation
assumes that each side wants to increase their share to the detriment of the
opposing side. There is a clear winner and a clear loser. This mentality leads
to inefficiencies and harms the parties’ personal and professional
relationships.
Some assets are indeed scarce yet the
inherent tendency to view every asset through the lens of scarcity, which leads
to the 'Me Vs You' – competitive negotiation, prevents negotiators from seeking
and creating added value solution.
Negotiating
in Bad Faith
Negotiating in good faith is always a
good practice. It does not mean that you must meet a theological requirement to
negotiate in good faith or that karma requires that you negotiate in good
faith. Instead, if you negotiate in bad faith, you will eventually have to
leave the situation as you'll find it impossible to live with your own
unethical conduct. If you do not want to ruin your negotiation progress, then
preserve your own ethical code.
Focusing
on One Item
Innate human characteristics are likely
to cause negotiations to center around one item—usually money. Negotiating only
one issue, which is also called one-dimensional negotiation, is likely to cause
dead ends or require that one side compromise far too much. One-dimensional
negotiation often indicates that the negotiation is still on a
positional-competitive level instead of an interest-cooperative level.
Multi-dimensional negotiation occurs when
you increase the number of items on the table. Getting to multi-dimensional
negation requires you to ask the Why question: Why does each party want any
particular outcome? When utilized properly, this question opens doors to
understanding the other party.
Sticking
with Your Position (even when flexibility would work better)
If all of your interests, needs, and constraints
that you brought to the negotiation are addressed, but they are addressed in a
different way than you initially envisioned, does that mean you compromised?
Sadly, quite a few of participants in my workshop would answer “yes” to that
question. They assume that any change in their initial position is a
compromise, even if the end result addressed all of their concerns.
This is a form of one-dimensional
negotiation, and it is so deeply rooted in our inherent traits that people
assume that being flexible means you are compromising. This is not the case. If
you ask the Why question, then that opens doors to creative solutions.
When you cling to your initial point of
view, without asking yourself the Why question, you are engaging in mental
rigidity. Mental rigidity is self-defeating as it leads to unnecessary
compromises and too many dead ends.
Failing
to Prepare for the Negotiation
This last point is perhaps the most
obvious. Everyone knows the importance of preparation. Yet, I’m still surprised
at the people who dive into negotiations as if they are cats crossing the
street—acting quickly without looking first. It is no wonder that they often do
not make it to the other side.
Practicing your negotiation in your head
may seem unreal because there is no one sitting across from you. But, if you
properly prepare – negotiating the situation in your head – when you are
actually engaging in the 'real' negotiation, it will be for the second time.
This extra time is crucial!
The number of mistakes that people make
in negotiations is much larger than five, and part of that has to do with the
fact that negotiation is an everyday occurrence. However, being aware, being
properly trained, and avoiding the above mistakes will drastically improve your
negotiation abilities. Better negotiation skills mean better results.
